Notice it. Allow it, there are lessons to learn, but once they are learned we have no need to prolong the suffering. Why keep scratching the wound until it festers? Gain the wisdom and move on.
Sometimes we do need to work with it, communicate it to the people who may have hurt us….but only if we feel love for them and only if we want to continue the connection. Remember though; we can only be responsible for ourselves, not for them.
If the hurt we hold is from people who do not matter to us then we have to let it go. I know we hear this a lot “let go”. Well, it is very important.
Here’s one way to do it:
• Notice the pain/hurt.
• Become aware of your assumptions….what is fact & what is your interpretation?
• Notice your attachment to being right, you are not ‘right’ it is only your point of view.
• Communicate to a trusted friend/coach (not essential, but very helpful).
• Connect to the knowledge that we are all on this earth for just a short time, life is fragile, their opinions mean nothing to you in your life. It is all empty and meaningless, you create the meaning.
• Allow any grief & sadness and communicate it, if you can.
• Wish them well, for yourself & forgive.
• Let go, move on with love.
Graham Kean, MA (Psych), MMC (IAC)