Constant complaining- do you complain about your life or your job all the time?
When you are complaining about something or someone, you know the situation; – why me? – it’s not fair, – why can’t my life be different? – this really annoys me, – this person is a pain, – my life is a mess, – I never have time, – I never have enough, – I hate my job, etc, etc, etc… and you do NOTHING about it, you are RUNNING YOUR RACKET.
What is a RACKET?
A constant and persistent complaint, that you engage in, yet do nothing about.
You are a RACKETEER.
Rackets or constant complaining manifest when people suffer loss of power, loss of freedom or the ability to fully self-express.
People use rackets as a venting exercise to:
- Justify being right or be seen as the ‘winner’ in a situation
- Dominate others or avoid domination by others
- Invalidate others, self-justify or self-gratify to make themselves feel better
Complaining is easy, because we do not have to challenge ourselves, or take responsibility, as long as we complain. Running your rackets or complaining relentlessly can become a habit without you realising. We become addicted to constant complaining because it is the best excuse for not taking action. Complaining can be contagious. You often find in a situation when you complain within an organisation that others get enrolled like a domino effect. Of course, we feel comfortable after complaining however, nothing get fixed but it has consequences.
Constant Complaining Damages Your Relationships, Work Productivity & Health
Compromised relationships. Complaining relentlessly to people in your private life, or working environment, invades the other persons’ personal space. Being at the receiving end of complaints leaves no room for the other to share their own feelings and emotions about the situation. This hinders your real connection with others when you surround people around you with endless negativity. Dysfunctional interpersonal relationships like this can gradually erode the happiness of all concerned especially the angry emotions they experience which lead to resentment and withdrawal. When present to your constant complaining people feel trapped and will eventually start avoiding you to gain freedom.
Reduced productivity at work. We hear people complain about their jobs all the time; the unreasonable boss, long working hours, restrictive company policies, uninspiring office space, demanding clients, the list goes on. In fact, studies have demonstrated that complaints hinder productivity in the workplace. Constant complaining is destructive, and worse of all, it does not support our path to success.
Damage to health, vitality and well-being. Scientific research shows that complaining for 30 minutes a day can cause physical damage to your brain, this is because exposure to negativity impairs the part of the brain used for problem solving and cognitive function. This adversely impacts the way we retain information and our ability to accommodate new situations. Also, listening to someone complaining, gossiping or spreading nasty rumours for more than 30 minutes a day can lead to neuronal disconnection and accelerate cell death!
Constant complaining is clearly detrimental to all of us. We are not achieving our goals and getting the results we desire. It affects our relationships with others, lowering our work productivity, our life at home with loved ones and ruins our health.
Ready to stop constant complaining? Here is how you can stop the venting, break your habit, and effectively stop running your rackets:
Notice, as you begin your week, how often you complain and your attitude while complaining? It is as if you become your complaint, you act in line with your complaint, whinging and moaning endlessly. It can even be just to yourself, yet you do nothing to make the shift needed to get out of the situation and take action to make positive change. The key is awareness… stop empowering the RACKET and take action to change it. Shift it, look for what’s POSSIBLE, turn your complaints into REQUESTS. Be a contribution rather than a drain. Look to see how you can make a positive difference, be action focused not racket focused.
We all have our rackets….what’s yours?
- Become more aware of your habits of constant complaining
- Work out what you intend to achieve and clarify your goal
- Identify who to communicate with to achieve the results you desire
- Take responsibility and figure out the action steps towards your goal
- Show up powerfully in order to effectively communicate what your issues are (the complaints) and come up with suggestions for resolve
Graham Kean, MA (Psych), MMC (IAC)