Singapore Relationship Coaching Singapore- Relationship Coach Singapore

Relationship coaching is one of my specialty areas. I support my clients in finding greater connection, communication, intimacy, fulfillment and joy in their relationships. My coaching facilitates effective communication and conflict resolution. We will work to clarify relationship issues by separating out what we can control from what we cannot. It brings the light of awareness into the hidden shadows of resentment, fear, guilt, shame and avoidance. I will help you understand your current partnership, thrive inside your marriage, or take your long-term romance to the next level. I also work with people who are not yet in a relationship, including singles who have a history of troubled relationships, who have difficulty knowing what they want in a relationship or just want to stay on track with their plan to find a deeper connection with another. This work is for all sexual orientations. My coaching also addresses the grief of break-ups, creating a safe space for you to share your anger, resentment, hurt and fear.

Relationship Coaching for People who are Married or in a Relationship

Many people have been in their relationship, partnership or marriage and they often speak of something missing, a shift that has occurred over time, a disconnection from each other. What is often uncovered is a lack of emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy creates a deep sense of security within your relationship and an ability to be completely yourself — warts and all — without feeling as if you risk the relationship itself or being judged. Without this intimacy, a relationship can struggle in many ways. Emotional intimacy depends primarily on trust. It takes courage and you must be able to allow yourself to be vulnerable. There needs to be transparency and openness, you will work up to sharing deeply with each other. You will talk about your thoughts, feelings and emotions, your shadow, and its two key elements: shame and guilt. It is this level of intimate connection you will be able to achieve through your coaching with me.

I typically work with one partner and support clients to explore the road blocks and limiting beliefs that hold them back from moving forward in the relationship. I work with them to create a vision and make commitments, seeing where they are responsible and what steps they can take to manifest change through the choices they make. This means my clients are able to enjoy transformation without their partner’s participation in the coaching process.

Why Couples Counselling Can be a Challenge?

Clients often come to me wanting Relationship Coaching, and also ask if I offer Couples Counselling. When I dig deeper it is often that they have had a bad experience of couples counselling and want to continue to work on their relationship. The challenge is that when couples pursue counselling together they are in crisis and there is often a ‘road block’ in their communication. They are then in a difficult situation of being together, in crisis, with the counsellor, and find it difficult to share deeply in the presence of their partner, and connect with their issues in front of the counsellor. I have had feedback that in some cases the counsellor seemed to favour one party, or is biased to one side. I have even heard that one counsellor created ‘rules’ that clearly benefited the other partner.

It is, most often, the case that it is the client who enquires about couples counselling needs help more than their partner, and the partner often doesn’t want to be in couples counselling, or any counselling but is going along with it to appease. I always recommend that clients work with me on themselves, their limiting beliefs, their life challenges first. This then opens them to who they are ‘being’ in the relationship they want to improve, this, in turn, allows for them to create the space of reparation in the relationship, in a new and powerful way.

I do work with couples, but not together, I work with them separately, supporting each person with a tailored approach, and development path that they can take back into the relationship, coming together to use the powerful tools to enhance communication and emotional intimacy between them. It is a unique and very successful approach, allowing for personal healing that generates healing with each other as a couple.

Relationship Coaching for Singles

We often find people speak of being ‘single and fabulous’, yet they are actually unhappy deep down. They are fearful of the future, of being alone for the rest of their lives and disconnected from love. These people are often highly successful, have a career that they are happy with and earning good money. In fact, outwardly their lives seem to be good, however they have a need to belong, for love, affection and connection that is beyond their working life and they often return home, at the end of the day, to a void. Many people struggle to find loving relationships with someone they can connect to deeply because of their way of being; they are unaware of what drives people away. In order to manifest change, they must identify the need for change and be willing to work on themselves by engaging with a relationship coach and being ready to seek the truth of what is holding them back.

My coaching supports clients to get out of their own way by examining the ‘conversation they are about themselves’, the internal dialog which inhibits them from taking the next steps they know they need to take to find true, and lasting, love. Most people have unconsciously created a ‘false self’ to protect the vulnerability of their authentic ‘true self’ in order to survive in life. By chipping away the layers of our ‘false self’ and allowing our authenticity, we invite the possibility of finding true love with someone whom we can connect deeply with.

Preferred gender considerations when choosing to work with a relationship coach

Many people choose their coaches based on their preferred gender, the gender they feel most comfortable with, especially when it comes to relationship coaching. Generally, most female clients feel more comfortable working with a female coach due to their historical trauma associated with men. However, it is the process of working with a trained, experienced male coach that can support them more powerfully in seeing the patterns they have created over time that limit them in finding love, and the ‘false self’ they have created to survive over the years that badly blocks their relationships with men. Female clients will see that it is their shadow that creates their blocks, and being able to recognise this may only come from working with a male coach. It is this work that will lead female clients to the healing required that allows them to develop male relationships romantically in the future. The same can be said for male clients feeling more comfortable working with male coaches.

Regardless of the preference a client may have, a good coach will be able to engender trust from clients of all genders and sexual orientations. It is this trust that is key in enabling the client to feel comfortable when sharing their stories, traumas, fears, shame, guilt and limiting beliefs without feeling being judged. The coaching space is sacred and confidential, and it is through this non-judgemental coaching connection that healing occurs and the client can develop the self-confidence to connect to vulnerability and allow the potential of a relationship.

Check out some of my clients’ success stories in relationship coaching:

“I started seeing Graham earlier this year as I was struggling to deal with anger issues which were threatening my relationship with my partner. I knew my reactions were not proportional but I couldn’t see a way out of them and they were happening more and more regularly. Through my time with Graham, I was able to recognise more readily the sources of my anger but more importantly reduce the occurrences of the anger in the first place. I still have work to do but in general I am a lot calmer, a lot more ‘me’ more of the time. I also have a better grasp of my own feelings which previously I had really struggled to identify. I still have tough days, I still have the occasional angry burst, but due to my time with Graham I can work through these episodes more quickly than I would have before. I know doing the sessions with Graham has changed my life for the better.” ~Expat Female, 34, Production Manager, Malaysia.

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“My work with Graham changed my life… He gave me exactly what I needed; a safe, non-judgmental, supportive environment to explore what I needed to shift, what I wanted to achieve and what I wanted to let go of. Through our work I found the courage to end an emotionally abusive relationship… Graham is honest, he has a no bullshit approach and he tells you how it is. He knew what I needed and when I needed it. I worked with Graham for almost two years and he will be my coach for life. I am grateful to Graham for allowing, and encouraging, me to see my full potential… I have a hefty tool box that Graham has given me and I return to it as I need it, when the low days arrive, but I’m not scared to fully live anymore. I’m not scared to be me. Through stripping back the layers with Graham, visiting some of the shadowy past, and facing myself head on I have grown emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I am achieving things I never thought possible; now I’m in a loving relationship, with someone who treats me very well, and I am continuing my self-development journey all of the time.~CA, Yoga Teacher, UK

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Dear Graham. Throughout our coaching sessions, you have helped me to discover many of my strengths, weaknesses and certain unconscious sabotaging patterns, and taught me ways to release them by giving me new perspectives. This experience has given me positive results in my ability to become more fully self-expressed, have greater clarity, and discernment, which is helping me to evolve, be in alignment with my values and true essence. At this point anything is possible for me, I will continue to effectively apply this knowledge that can only result in better health, fulfillment, empowering authentic relationships.. Thank you”.  ~Maria Defillo, Insurance Consultant – Defillo Insurance Services, Miami, Florida, USA.

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“Graham Kean has been coaching me for almost a year.  I can honestly say that I have experienced a major shift at the deepest level of how I feel about myself, and thus, in the choices I make and the happiness I feel. I have always had a deep-rooted feeling of being under serving or lesser than other people. This force has been destructive in so many ways, for example; in self-sabotaging things I’ve worked so hard for and wanted so badly. With Graham’s excellent coaching ability helping me get to the root of my issues, I have literally let go of the darkest shadows that have defined me my whole life. Only now can I see what a huge emotional weight I have been carrying around. I’ve never felt this light and peaceful in my life. I am now more authentic, happier, and for the first time I am feeling unconditional love for, and trust in, myself. This is quite incredible to me because in all my adult life I have attempted many times to rid myself of these dark shadows through therapy, reading, seminars, workshops and other forms of help, this ‘re-birth’ has only happened through his coaching. Graham was totally committed, caring and skilled. If you decide to have coaching, I strongly recommend Graham Kean.” ~Entrepreneur, Career Woman and Single Mother, Singapore.

Relationship coaching is a delicate, intimate process, as a coach I will listen and work with care to uncover what is holding you back. This process is not easy, it is a journey of healing and transformation, a journey we are all on. Your coaching journey is unique to you and I will honour it as we work together to give you all you need to succeed in the relationship you say you want.

Get in touch to begin your relationship coaching journey with me.

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